I Am Healthy
Kay Kopit

I Am Healthy
By Kay Kopit
It is amazing to be able to say that! I will say it again, I am a whole, happy, healthy, loving woman. I was sick for the first 40 years of my life. Like millions of other human beings I grew up immersed in the family disease of alcoholism. For generations it has plagued my family. The unbalanced life I led is so common in our society; I didnt know anything was wrong. I was a participant in the chaos, confusion, neuroses, pain and suffering, which is present in dysfunctional families. I call it The Dance of Death.

I grew up in St. Louis, Missouri in the community of Clayton. The only memories I have of my father are when he would beat my brother and me with his belt so severely my clothes would cling to the bloody strap marks on my legs. He would make us wait for our punishment in our room before he dealt the ugly blows. My mother closed her eyes to what was happening. Both of them partied on weekends where I would find empty highball glasses scattered all over the living room. I had holes in the soles of my shoes while my mother would model a new diamond cocktail ring, winnings from a weekly poker game. My dad was also a compulsive gambler. He died at the age of 45 when I was nine years old.

My mother attracted another alcoholic to her life soon after my fathers death. They had a symbiotic, codependent and alcoholic relationship. Every ten days they would consume a case of scotch, which was delivered to our apartment from the local liquor store. My mother never appeared drunk but she was distant, selfish and narcissistic. My stepfathers disease had progressed to the point he was visibly drunk most evenings. His attitude was condescending, nasty and self-righteous. He was verbally abusive and drove his car while intoxicated on many occasions. When I think back to that period of my history I remember keeping my personal life secret!!! I was ashamed of their behavior. I pretended all was well and I began developing neurotic habits for self-preservation.

In my teens I danced several days after school, participated in theater groups, worked in a department store and had creative life in my head. I imagined the way I wanted my world to be and was in denial as to the truth in front of me. I became obsessive, compulsive and an over achiever. Because I worked so hard I accomplished a lot for a young girl but the reality was it was inspired by fear, insecurity and a need for control.

In college I devoted myself to art and earned a B.S. in Education and a M.A. in Painting and Ceramics from the University of Missouri. I was hired as a college instructor soon after graduate school. I felt happy for a time because I was away from home and involved in teaching. I took my job very seriously but the loneliness I felt when I was by myself was debilitating.

I longed for love . . . any kind. I didnt realize it at the time but I had never felt affection. I became preoccupied with thoughts of men. I had guys on my mind constantly! I was popular and had many choices but I picked the ones who I thought needed me. Most often they were from dysfunctional families. I dated a lot of drunks during my 20s. It felt familiar. In spite of my success as an artist and a teacher, I had low self-esteem and I knew something was wrong with me.

In l969 I began a new life in another city. Within a week of moving to Boston, Massachusetts, I was brutally raped and hospitalized. I never received help with this trauma and didnt properly grieve until years later. I pushed down the pain and was then, more than ever, resolved to create the perfect life for myself, (as if it were in my hands?)
This was made easy for me when Joey Haudel entered my life. He filled the position of my Knight in Shining Armour, albeit, distorted. He was young, handsome, and alcoholic and had just been released from prison. We needed each other like ducks need water. We bonded in a codependent relationship that lasted 12 years.

Our experiences together were astounding. What I learned about myself was profound. Our journey is almost unbelievable. I have told this story in a dramatic narrative, I Survived: One Womans Journey of Self Healing and Transformation on DVD. It is filled with the dark world of illness and moves to the light of wellness. I reached my bottom after years of suffering. I was contemplating suicide but was saved by the Grace of God and the dear voice of a telephone operator who kept me on the phone for over an hour.

I spent years in recovery; beginning with Al-Anon meetings in 1973, several series of Adult Children of Alcoholic Therapy Sessions, individual therapy with numerous therapists and devouring self help books. I had the courage to look within and face the demons. It wasnt easy and many times I wanted to quit. I often felt I was too crazy to get well. One step at a time I forged ahead and never looked back! I visualized a healthy prognosis. Today I am living that beautiful picture!

I am happily married to a man 19 years my junior. I am older than his mother. We just celebrated our 17th anniversary and continue to share the most fabulous life. We have one child, a precious daughter, who we adopted at birth 8 years ago. I was 54 at the time. I am grateful that I am able to be a good parent and relish every moment I spend with both of them as a family. Sometimes I almost gasp for air when I realize I am living a balanced life. Each day I thank God for the gifts I have been given.

Sadly, Joey wasnt as fortunate as I. He died at the age of 42. My dear friend Debra took her own life in 2002. She too was alcoholic. I feel their presence; they are the angels guiding me in my mission to inspire people to their own healing and recovery. Lets continue to get well. We are all loving souls on an enlightened path of a new way of being, HEALTHY.

www.isurviveddocumentary.com

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About the Author

Kay Kopit, accomplished artist, actor, writer, speaker and gifted teacher.

Tags: actor, Al-Anon, Alcoholism, artist, artist and a teacher, Author, Boston, Codependent, Compulsive Gambler, Dance Of Death, Debra, Disease Of Alcoholism, Dysfunctional Families, Highball Glasses, I. He, Joey Haudel, Kay Kopit, Kopit, Liquor Store, Loving Woman, Massachusetts, Missouri, Neuroses, Neurotic Habits, Nine Years, Pain And Suffering, Personal Life, Poker Game, Soles, speaker and gifted teacher, St Louis Missouri, St. Louis, telephone operator, Unbalanced Life, University of Missouri, writer, www.isurviveddocumentary.com, Years Of My Life —

Food that&#39s good for a healthy heart
Nitin Jain

Here’s a conundrum: While experts agree that high cholesterol and blood pressure are crucial heart disease risk factors, many people who suffer chest pain or even heart attacks have levels that are perfectly normal. This puzzle has prompted researchers to scour the body for other cardiovascular villains. Several have emerged in recent years, but the one that stands out the most is inflammation.

The latest studies suggest that chronic inflammation of the lining of arteries is an important factor in the development of atherosclerosis and coronary heart disease. What causes this inflammation is not clear, but the good news is that (1) the advice that is given for lowering cholesterol, blood pressure and triglycerides also works fine for fighting inflammation; and (2) you can tackle all 4 culprits with the help of dietary weapons – http://www.vitaminsdiary.com/nutrients.htm In fact, you can plan your war against heart disease in your kitchen. Here is how:

1. Think like an artist when you choose fruits and vegetables: Eat those with the brightest colors. They have the most heart protective antioxidant pigments. A diet high in fruits and veggies also provides another important heart benefit, salicylic acid, which is the same anti-inflammatory compound created when aspirin is broken down in the body.

2. Increase food sources of omega-3 fatty acids which target high triglycerides in the blood. Good sources of omega-3s include fish such as sardines, mackerel; nuts and seeds; green leafy vegetables; grains like wheat, bajra; legumes like rajma, cowpea, and black gram.

3. Reduce the amount of meats you eat, especially red meats, and always select lean cuts. Use meat as a seasoning for vegetable dishes rather than the focal point of a meal.

4. Cut down on salt and instead use herbs and spices like ginger, garlic, turmeric and fenugreek liberally in your cooking; the first three are naturally anti-inflammatory and the last has soluble fibre which helps sweep away cholesterol from the arteries.

5. Shift to groundnut, mustard, rice bran and olive oils which contain monosaturated fatty acids that help lower (bad) LDL and maintain levels of (good) HDL cholesterol. Drastically limit margarine, vegetable shortening, butter and all products made with partially hydrogenated oils.

6. Fruits and vegetables, whole grains (wheat, brown rice, oats), beans and pulses, are also great sources of soluble and insoluble fibre, which trap LDLs and usher them out of the body.

Get helpful information on vitamins, amino acids, herbs, minerals and other nutrients for a healthier life – http://www.vitaminsdiary.com/.

If you wish to reproduce the above article you are welcome to do so, provided the article is reproduced in its entirety, including this resource box and LIVE link to our website

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